The Club
The Oldies-Club.
Members since whenever it was. Revised 2026, mostly to allow elasticated waistbands.
Nobody sends the invitation. One morning your knees do.
There has always been a club. Nobody founded it and nobody runs it. You join around sixty, without applying, the first time you say "we'll see" and mean no. The jokes are about the things that actually fill a week from then on: marriage, retirement, the garden, the knees, being left unsupervised.
There is no card. What we make is the card. Wear it, and the club will find you.
The house rules are pinned to the noticeboard of every kitchen in the club. Five of them, which is all anyone can remember. Not negotiable, except rule three, after a good film. The chair in rule two is real. Everyone knows whose it is. Nobody has ever needed to say.
What we make
Funny apparel for the over sixties.
T-shirts now, hoodies and caps on the way, all carrying the jokes from the videos. Every design is ours, in vintage lettering drawn to be read across a room.
Who it is for
Anyone who has earned the right to say it.
And the sons and daughters who buy it for them. Most of what we send is a gift, usually for the parent who says they do not want anything and then wears it every Sunday.
How it is made
Sized like 1987. Printed near you.
Heavyweight cotton, so a Large then is a Large now. Every size from S to 5XL. Made to order at the facility nearest you and shipped across the US, UK and Australia in 5 to 11 days.